"I parted on good terms with Luca Vialli. As he left the room and I led him to the door, we departed with the usual Italian formalities of a bear hug and a kiss."
"It takes one to know one. I'm surprised Martin O'Neill actually knows a word as big as cretin."
"I'm delighted for Claudio Ranieri that we beat Fulham in the FA Cup semi-final, as if we'd lost yesterday, it would have been a pity to sack him just after he'd signed a new contract!"
"Managers who criticise referees should be banned from the touchline and if they can't control their players they should be suspended themselves."
"I'm not being funny but some of the home-grown kids don't know what it's like in the real world and don't realise how great Chelsea Football Club is."
"I'm not reading them bedtime stories any more."
"There is no escaping the fact Chris Sutton was a disaster. His attitude wasn't right towards the end. He wasn't good for Chelsea."
"Makelele? Who does he play for? I've only ever heard of his brother, Ukelele."
"I got calls from Italy last summer and one agent offered me Gabriel Batistuta. He told me 'Batistuta wants to come to Chelsea'. I said 'I'm sure he does, but we've stopped signing pensioners'."
"Everybody wants to speak to me now I've got money."
"Even Jesus Christ only had one Pontius Pilate - I had a whole team of them."
On standing down from the Wembley National Stadium Board
"I put in 70 hours a week and quite honestly Chelsea could not pay me what I'm worth."
"We needed someone with bigger pockets than I have got."
"The king is dead. Well he's retired anyway."
"At first they were a shambles. Now they have descended via farce to make them a laughing stock. It has come to a pretty pass when Fifa criticise our performance."
"They remind me of New Labour spin-doctors, which I'm sure in one or two cases they'd quite like to be. Let them put a name to their quotes if that's what they think of me. They won't because they're cowards."
"Poverty among fans is grossly exaggerated when you see what they spend elsewhere. A small minority are poor and can't afford it."
"Just what makes them [corporate hospitality clients] any different from the fan who meets his mates around the corner from the ground, eats pie and chips at a local restaurant, washed down by a bottle of wine or a few pints and then walks to the ground?"
"All those toilet rolls coming on from Besiktas fans was orchestrated. They wanted to get the kick-off delayed so they would know what the other result was before our game finished. I said to Roman Abramovich, 'if you fancy making another billion, go and open another toilet factory in Turkey'."